my personal life outside the force
willyb

1 post
6-May-2005
8:18 PM
im in law but im dating a woman who has a felony but she`s been on straight and narrow since the felony happen in 95 ten years ago is that a problem my superior is telling me i cant date her but thats my personal life right can someone give me some insight on this please who i date is my buisness right
Vinman

19 post s
7-May-2005
7:42 PM
well WillyB.....your boss is expressing concerns about the fact that she has a record......this is a direct reflection on you as a LEO. You have access to alot of information that is of a sensitive nature......and as fellow officers will tell ya.....we all talk about what has happened to us to people that are close to us....as a bit of a venting...helps us cope. I don't think he/she is actually saying, "You can't date her" I think he/she is concerned about your career and what could happen down the road. Your associations outside of work are still a direct reflection on you and he/she may be concerned about it....What could happen down the road, so don't be pissed at him/her.....sounds like he/she is looking out for you. If I were you.....I'd arrange some time with your boss and have a indepth conversation about what your feeling and they might have a reason why he/she said what they did.
Good luck....I agree with ya that who you date is your biz.....but there might be bigger reasons that was said to ya.
Vin
Chappy

40 post s
8-May-2005
2:29 PM
Your situation concerning dating - or even merely a casual acquaintanceship - with anyone, whether male or female, who has a past record of that magnitude is, from my viewpoint a very serious matter. There are myriads of questions which confront the situation. Has this person ACTUALLY been "rehabillitated"?, or is she just so saying so that she can attain whatever via you to continue doing what she did to get her past felonious sentence?

There ARE, as you may be aware, various things via which an individual can get a felony conviction, and, while most of them may concern things like robbery or killing, there are minor things also, depending on the jurisdiction of the courts and so forth. What EXACTLY IS her past about? If I knew that, it would be more of a definite starting point to advise concerning your association with her.

I am TOTALLY AND FULLY mutual to Vin's comments, for, had he not so said, I would have. A supervisor --- that is a good supervisor (as there ARE those supes who could care less) --- usually "takes care" of those they supervise. It is their responsibility AS a supervisor to "look out" for their people. In conjunction with that, do you know virtually EVERYTHING about this individual? It may WELL be possible that your supervisor has information about this individual you know zilch about which would, in the long run, be a definite detriment towards you as a member of the Law Enforcement team.

As you may have heard via the news lately, there are those employers who now, also, terminate employees who even smoke cigarettes on their own time away from the employment scene. So your supervisor paying attention to your life away from work is just as these employers are applying --- for the eventual good of the team.

What I would advise you to do is to consider ALL aspects of the situation prior to jumping onto your supervisor. If YOU would BE in a supervisory position and one of your people would do the thing that you are now doing, what would YOU do and so forth.

While it is true that your personal life ought to be YOUR'S and your's alone, when in Law Enforcement that person's personal life impacts the entire LEO community no matter what you do within your personal life --- it comes back to you.

I wish you well. Rev. Ruben J. Schmidt, DD/Chappy

 

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