I got called to a business alarm at a convenience store in the middle of nowhere at about 05:00. Of course I am due to get off at 06:00.

Well I show up and there is a running car parked by the gas pumps, a hole beat through the glass door, and two guys standing around. One is yelling, "Get this fucking idiot away from me before I kill him." HOLD ON A MINUTE. Whats going on here?

The guy doing the yelling explains that he is the owner. He lives right behind the store and he made it over two minutes after the alarm went off. When he shows up this guy is waiting by the store, for the police, to report the break in. The guy has been annoying him from the time he showed up.

So, I talk to the guy and ask him what he knows. He tells me that he showed up to get gas and found the hole in the glass door. I asked him what time the station opened and he said that it opened at 06:00. I try to gather his info so I can get him going, but he is acting really goofy and nervous. I cant get him to sit still for more than 10 seconds. It kind of seemed like he was geeking (on crank) so, I patted him down.

I dont find anything on him except for glass shards around the back of his collar. I told him to shut off his car it might be a while. He said that he couldnt. He asked me if I could get into his car for him because he had locked his keys inside. NOW IT BECOMES CLEAR!

I asked him if he had been in the store at all. "Nope." I asked him if he showed up after the "break in" and maybe just stuck his head in to see if anybody was inside. "Nope." I gave him every opportunity to say that he went in, for innocent reasons, after he arrived, but he denied ever going in. Nor could he explain why he showed up at a gas station at least 1/2 hour before he knew that it opened. I peered inside of the car and found that the gas gauge was 3/4ths full. He had no reason as to why he needed to gas up.

After detaining him I looked a little closer and found a pair of brown jersey gloves around the corner of the building. A close check of his car revealed glass shards on top of the car. Glass had to be broken after he parked the car. MAN. Call me Columbo. It doesnt take Sherlock Holmes to close this one.

The moron parks his car, bashes the window in, hears the alarm, trys to run away, but realizes that he has locked his keys inside of his car. Now, instead of having enough sense to try to run on foot, he decides to wait for the cops to arrive and be the good samaritan, by reporting the crime.