How do we actually get the Officers to SUBMIT Shift Stories?

Now that the Polls show People want and will read shift stories and that Officers said they would sumbit stories, how do we actually get the Officers to SUBMIT them!? :o/

Just stare at them with this 'Oh soooo sad face' and go "sniff sniff" and beg them to post stories

Take away their TV remotes until they post a story

Offer beer to the one who posts the most

Offer beer for the best story of the month

Hold them hostage in the chat room until they post a story

Keep chanting "We want shift stories..we want shift stories" everytime we see them

Make them jealous by reading shift stories on other sites and tell them how much you ENJOY them

Get pulled over by them and cause a situation they can't help but want to write about

Offer MORE beer to the one who posts the most

Offer MORE beer for the best story of the month